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HumorousMom

funny/humor

You don’t need it

SO! This is my first entry… It’s a short story about a conversation my son and I had in the bathroom. First let me start off by saying I am self conscious about my chesticles (boobs) I don’t think they’re the appropriate size for me. Ok so now that you know this, here goes my story… Ok! so, I was taking a shower and like always one of the kids suddenly had the urge to use the restroom. I hear knocking and my son Jay says “mom open the door I gotta go!” I’m almost done with my shower. Already drying myself off, so I open the door. He comes in and uses the restroom and as he turns to walk out, he sees me getting dressed. He asked, “mom, what are you doing?” I said I’m putting my clothes on (I’m putting on my bra) and asks “mom what’s that?” i said it’s my bra and he asked “what is the bra for?” I said it’s to cover my chee-chees. He just stands there and thinks for a minute and says, “Hey?!” With a very puzzled look. “you dont got Chee-chees!, you dont need a bra silly! “My tia (aunt) and grandma have chee-chees!”… I felt so embarrassed. From that day on my son is no longer allowed in the bathroom while I’m in the shower. Well that’s my first story, Hope this makes someones day and remember life is too short to stay mad, sad, or worried.

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Mighty Morphing Mommy

My favorite one… so far. (edited)

HumorousMom

I have two boys!!! One is 4 and the other is 1. Boys unlike girls are Very very active! My daughter is the oldest and the calmest of the three. She listens to everything mommy tells her to do. My oldest boy on the other hand does the complete opposite. I’ll say, Jay clean up… I might as well have said, hey while you’re making a mess go ahead and break some things Jay.

Well my problem with him is cleaning and eating his food. He wants to sit on his bed to eat? I don’t know why? It’s like that’s where he feels most comfortable? Anyways you know boys are into action, adventure and rough and tough things in general. Now jay LOVES spiderman and the latest love of his life is power rangers. The other day he was watching power rangers and got up to do flips and…

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Droppin it Like its hot part 2

I was pregnant with my second child and trying to do a sundrop commercial. It was so much fun! I want to do another one. So greatful for my brothers and their willingness to cooperate with me. Love them so much!

Hope you all enjoy! #SMILE

Bloody Bear

HumorousMom

Females… Know the struggle of the dreaded,‘That time of the month’ ugh! I’m not on my period now, if that’s what you’re thinking? NO! I’m just having a flashback from my youth. My husband and I have been together almost ten years now. You know in the beginning you do the most to impress him or her? Yeah, well we were at our 7 month mark and it was my birthday. At the time I had a Care Bear Collection that still needed completing. So being the sweet guy that he is, he surprised me and showed up at my house as I was getting home from school. At that time I was on my… my uhm… you know aunt flow was paying me a visit!

Anyway… After school I had to take the bus home and my bus stop was at a small local grocery store. I was ready…

View original post 673 more words

Escape level: Expert!

This reminds me of my youngest son. Who can’t be trusted in a walker anymore! He uses my daughters bed and any available object to pull himself out. This goes to show that you can’t underestimate ANYONE!…

This is too cute and felt I had to share this adorable video. Can’t wait to see what other adventures my little one gets into? Hopefully only cute ones like this? If not? I know they’ll be funny and one day will be stories for me to post… not immediately, BUT in the future. #LifeIsTooShortToBeMadSadOrWorried #Smile 🙂

Mighty Morphing Mommy

I have two boys!!! One is 4 and the other is 1. Boys unlike girls are Very very active! My daughter is the oldest and the calmest of the three. She listens to everything mommy tells her to do. My oldest boy on the other hand does the complete opposite. I’ll say, Jay clean up… I might as well have said, hey while you’re making a mess go ahead and break some things Jay.

Well my problem with him is cleaning and eating his food. He wants to sit on his bed to eat? I don’t know why? It’s like that’s where he feels most comfortable? Anyways you know boys are into action, adventure and rough and tough things in general. Now jay LOVES spiderman and the latest love of his life is power rangers. The other day he was watching power rangers and got up to do flips and punches like he usually does when an action scene comes one. I don’t know why but I got the craziest idea…

I thought man he jumps right into action when he hears that power rangers theme song

and when they say the word, RIGHT and go into their Fighting pose! Well that idea sounded crazy in my head… so crazy it just might work!

Nevertheless, the show finishes and it’s time to start cleaning. I go to my kids drawers and look for beanies. I find a pink one and blue one and poke holes through them and go show Jay. I said hey man you want to be a power ranger like me? He said yeah very excited and we put the masks on and we transform into the pink and blue rangers. I pretend I have a watch and say hey Zordon is calling. He says what do we have to do? I said zordon said we HAVE to hurry and clean the house before the toys turn into giant monsters! He starts to jump and do his little sideways cartwheels. Then I ask are you ready? He says yeah! and I say, RIGHT! Then he says RIGHT we go into fighting pose and jump into action!

I start doing little sideways cartwheels and pick a toy up and throw it in the toy box. He follows right along! I was so happy that this was actually getting the job done!!! We were almost done and there was a stuffed horse on the floor the last toy to pick up. He sees it and says, oh no we took too long pink ranger! That horse is getting bigger! I’m trying to stop the game and take my mask off and say, no Jay we’re done! Throw it in the box. He comes towards me kicking and punching and says my names not Jay! I’m the blue ranger!!! He was in serious blue ranger mode, no playing around no more!

I was scared for my life I thought I was gonna get my butt handed to me by a little 4 year old. As a result, I put my mask back on and we start to fight the giant horse! We throw it back and forth to each other punching it and kicking and throwing it everywhere. Suddenly he says, where are my weapons? I said, no we don’t need them I think he’s getting small again. He said, no… It’s… not! Goes to the toy box that we JUST filled and grabs a sword, a gun, nun-chucks, a jump rope, and a shoe! He stabs the horse and throws the sword and kicks it under the couch, He shoots the gun a few times but it ran out of bullets so throws it and it slides under a little desk I have, he wraps the nun-chucks around a door knob, and throws the shoe towards the wall and it knocks down a picture frame! Grabs the horse and ties it up with the jump rope and throws it into the toy box!

The job is done and takes the mask off and walks away with a confident smirk… and I’m standing in the living room with another mess to clean up looking like?… alone this time. Well the idea WAS crazy… crazy enough NOT to work. But you live and you learn? Therefore, I’m still trying to find a way to make cleaning interesting for him and safe for my well being?… I still have to find something that works for the last child. ugh… well that’s it for now. Hope you all enjoyed and I hope I got a smile or two from someone. #LIfeIsTooShortToBeMadSadOrWorried #Smile 🙂

Bloody Bear

Females… Know the struggle of the dreaded,‘That time of the month’ ugh! I’m not on my period now, if that’s what you’re thinking? NO! I’m just having a flashback from my youth. My husband and I have been together almost ten years now. You know in the beginning you do the most to impress him or her? Yeah, well we were at our 7 month mark and it was my birthday. At the time I had a Care Bear Collection that still needed completing. So being the sweet guy that he is, he surprised me and showed up at my house as I was getting home from school. At that time I was on my… my uhm… you know aunt flow was paying me a visit!

Anyway… After school I had to take the bus home and my bus stop was at a small local grocery store. I was ready to get off and get home to change my pad because, you know it was time to do so. I’m walking as fast as I can to my house thinking to myself; hurry home, don’t stain yourself, get home and walk straight to the restroom! I was motivating my private part not to stain my pants, basically. Yeah! I’m weird like that? so what? Anywaysss… I’m walking at a fast pace trying to get home, I’m about two houses away from mine and I’m thinking, Yes i made it! Then unbeknownst to me my boyfriend and his parents pull up to my drive way! I totally forget about my period and hop right in the car with them. I call my grandma from his moms phone and tell her that i was going to the store with him, I’d be back in less than an hour. We get in the back and are all lovey dovey talking and flirting with each other. His dad is driving with Spanish music playing loud,

we make it to the store get off and hold hands as we walk into the store. We go in and start to look for the care bear section. I’m really goofy and playful so we’re walking around and I see something I like so I let go of his hand, he smiles at me as I look back to try to look all cute while I’m running off to the little section that I want to look at I noticed his smile goes away in a blink of an eye now he and his mom are behind me and are looking down at my butt…

Now remember I totally forgot that it was arts and crafts week at panty camp. Until they walk closer to me and ask if I’m on my period. I got this look on my face like I just saw a ghost! My face got hot so fast I started to sweat my heart was pounding! I wanted so bad to get out of there but we were nowhere near home. I acted like I didn’t know that I was even menstruating? I said, no why do you ask? My boyfriend says you have blood on your pants. I said oh man I guess I started on the way over here or something? At the time he would wear two shirts so he just gave me his top shirt and we find a bear buy it and head out the store. Before we get into the car his mom stops me and gives me a hand full of napkins that they kept in the glove compartment and says here so you don’t stain the seats.

so we’re driving home in total and I mean the most AWKWARD silence I’ve ever experienced… I don’t even remember them turning the radio off? It seemed like we drove for hours! We finally make it to my house and I’m getting off, about to close the door and my boyfriend has this disgusted look on his face I look to see why and there is a Huge stain on the seat!!! I wanted to cry! It looked like a mini crime scene and to make it worse the seats were a light beige color so it was bright red! OMG! I tell them thank you and walk away backwards like if they didn’t already know what was on my pants.

They knew… but my uncle who was behind me didn’t… so he says hey Misha you got napkins stuck to your butt foo and there’s blood on them… So EMBARRASSING!!!! I finally got inside the house got some clothes and took a hot shower and tried to scrub the embarrassment off my body. It didn’t work? I was still feeling embarrassed, but i felt clean? so that was good… OH! And in case you were wondering? I added Share Bear to my collection. Well that’s it… Hope this made someone smile or maybe even laugh. Thanks for reading 🙂 #LifeIsToShortToStayMadSadOrWorried #Smile

Hair up pants down???

My day starts off pretty much the same as I’m sure everyone else’s does. I’m a stay at home mom so my day starts at 6:30, as soon as my husband leaves it’s time for mommy duties. Cross out the previous day on the calendar and start to feed the pets. First I feed Midnight (the cat) then Goldie (the fish) and last Kane (the dog). Next I wake up my daughter nissa. Get her dressed, hair nice and combed, and teeth brushed. In between that I have to yell at my son jay to put clothes on before we take his sister to school. And I have my 11 month old bouncing and crying in his crib because he wants out.

Alright… so a few days ago I woke up feeling really tired. I think we slept late the night before so I was dragging my feet that morning. I did the usual but not to my standards and not in the order I usually do them in. I get the cat food and take it with me to Goldies tank, put the cats food down still in the can… I feed the fish leave the tank to turn our porch light off and forget to go out to feed Kane. I think I’m done so I leave all that to start to Get the girl dressed real quick. After that I start helping jay put his shoes on. I noticed Nissas pants kept sliding off a little, but I didn’t really pay attention I thought maybe she stepped on them so I just shrug it off and tell her to pick them up. was I wrong for this? maybe? but I was too tired to even give it a second thought.

So I moved on to the next thing… My daughter has long thick hair, which means i watch lots of hair tutorial but my favorite is Cute Girls Hairstyles so I put them to good use and make sure I put that hair up real nice! I will always do that no matter what?! so anyhow…

all the fussing and yelling is over, the kids are loaded up in the truck and we leave. I come back home, feed the boys and get started with the chores. well the day goes by normal like always same old routines while I’m home with kids. Its time to pick Nissa up and my husband is out early. so he goes for her and when he gets home he notices Nissa having to hold her pants as she walks. He tells her to bring him a change of clothes so he can help her get out of the school clothes. He’s about to unbuckle the pants and sees there is no button or zipper? He asked what kind of pants are these? i said they’re normal pants dad what are you talking about? He pushes the girl towards me and says look…

I look down and my poor baby’s pants are one BACKWARDS!!! the button and zipper were on her butt the whole time!! All day from 7-3 she was walking around with her pants on the wrong way and hanging halfway off her butt! I’m asking my self… like, I know she had to have gone to the restroom at least three times today? How did she not notice? but then I thought to myself… well she is my daughter. I’ve done things like that now and I’m in my twenties?… but I felt so bad! and like such a horrible mom that day. uhm, but since that day I make sure I put all her clothes on the right way! I hope that, it doesn’t happen again…

Come to think of it? As I’m writing this… I forgot that she put her pants on by herself today… I was so busy with the upper part of her outfit and dressing her for the dress for success day I forgot to double check her pants!!! I gotta go!… Parents please don’t be forgetful like me and check your kids pants and shirts before they walk out that door! Hope this made you smile. Remember life is too short to stay mad, sad, or worried.

TMI (Too Much Info)

I remember being younger and being terrified of my grandma. She took care of me, my sister and brothers. There were 5 of us and my grandpa worked full time… Now, my grandma LOOKS cute and sweet because she’s tiny but she is VERY intimidating. For a small body she has a loud voice. Don’t get me wrong, She was a good guardian. She was strict and over protective with us. I now know that it was for our own good. But anyway…
One day my sister and I were playing, you know doing stuff kids did back then. None of these advanced technologies were available to us so we actually played around. I was a pubescent preteen and my sister was still in her playful kid years. Anyway, My grandma had left to the store and left us in charge of the boys and the house chores. We were going to do them! We were!? it’s just we wanted to play first because, After all; we were still kids and just got lost in our game.
Well, she gets back and we’re trying to hurry and scramble to get things picked up and swept. She walks in and sees us rushing. She has grocery bags in her hands and doesn’t say anything but put them down and gives us a look. we already know we’re in trouble. We put the food up in awkward silence, We finish with that and she looks at us and tells us to follow her. We follow her into the hall way and she stops and we’re standing in front of her like soldiers (upright and hands on our sides) she opens her mouth and nothing but angry Spanish words come shooting out.
She speaks VERY fast when she’s mad (I think like most Mexican women do) while she was going on and on with all those angry Spanish words there was a sentence that caught my attention. She said, “you have pubic hairs! yall should act like young ladies already!” I got this look on my face like someone just slapped me! She paused to take a deep breath to continue but I quickly realized i had to say something! I had to inform her of something very important!
So before she could start yelling again I got her attention and raised my hand… stuck my chest out and said with a very proud and loud voice “I’m the only one with pubic hair!” I point and say “Not her” (my sister), “only i have hair!”… I guess I caught her off guard because we never spoke back after her yelling we were too scared. BUT… I said that, and as the last word left my lips she laughed so hard!!! We could tell She was trying not to, because she let out that laugh like a rough cough comes out. You know like when you spit before you cough because you swallow water or food wrong and you suddenly start to choke a little?… yeah like that. She cried from how hard she was laughing! Me and my sister looked at each other confused?
She finally stops laughing and tells us get out of there and go play. That was such a cool day and I think the first time I had made my grandma laugh like that. I put her in such a good mood she bought pizza for us that day. I was just happy that she knew that I was the only one with pubic hair. My point got across like i wanted it too. Well that’s it for today? I hope this puts a smile on someones face. Remember life is too short to stay mad, sad or worried. #SmileYourAlive 🙂

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